Values, Goals, and Direction

Think of it like this.

There is a sea. By the sea, there is a beach. By the beach, there is flat land. Next to that, the land starts to rise. Next to that, the land becomes hilly. Then the hills grow higher, until finally there are mountains and sky.

The sea is the starting point. There are fish in there, but they can only see their own world. A flying fish or a dolphin can jump out and briefly see outside its world, but it must return there. They don't belong outside it. Then, on the shore, you find animals that live on land, but spend some of their life in the sea. They can compare and contrast as they like. Then you have the real land animals (and people), who must live on the land, but who can always pop into the sea for a bit any time they need to.

Finally we are on the land. It is flat and regular. You can do what you want, as long as nothing interferes with your plan. If something does come to interrupt you, it will be unexpected because you can't see very far from the flat land. But on the other hand, while you can't protect yourself against big surprises, life on the whole is predictable down there.

Let's look up into the hills next. It is harder to walk there, but you get good exercise. You can see further afield too. If you are looking for something, it is easier to find it this way. Also surprises are known some time in advance of their arrival. Where the hills are high, there are more challenges, but more benefits too. Finally, there are mountains, the most difficult to climb but accessible to anyone who keeps improving from their first steps by the seashore. From the mountain you can see the sky and all the land all around. Weather is coming, maybe even some days away, but you know in advance. And at night you can see the stars.

The horizon is the limit of visibility from where you are now. Apart from special effects, caused by rising hot air and other unusual phenomena, that sometimes allow you to see beyond the horizon a little way, you cannot see further than this limit.

But if you cannot see further than that, how do you know there is anything beyond it? You don't, unless you once moved and now remember something you saw when you were elsewhere. Or a traveller comes by and tells you about something beyond your horizon. You might or might not believe it. It might not even be true, possibly. Nevertheless, there are ways of getting the information that there might be more out there. And of course on a clear day you can see the hills and maybe even the mountains. But would you ever think of going there?

Everything is here, inside your horizon. Everything you wished for and everything you need, either to stay here safely, or to expand the horizon. Yes, there is always something more to learn - something you didn't know ever before in your life! - or destinations to dream about, enjoy hearing about, or start planning to travel to.

Nowadays, travel is a luxury word. But it means to move more or less far away, so there might be any reason for that, not just for a holiday. Indeed, for some people at some times travel might have only happened for very important reasons - or even never at all. And then again, I can imagine a very free world where travel is always possible to anywhere, for any positive reason.

Of course, we are not just talking about physical travel. We are not only talking about a physical horizon. To travel beyond the horizon also means to learn something beyond what you know now. To move in a direction means to become something new.

But why change, why move, why alter the horizon, why learn anything new? Because you always are. Every day something new is coming past your window, in front of your eyes, like a wind bringing news of far away. Is anyone in exactly the same position they were at the beginning of their life? I think most people have had some change. There may be many reasons for that change, but no matter what they were, what caused the change was that you decided to change. You may say you had no choice, or that it was someone else's idea, but you went there, you did it.

Change is always here though people may pretend they don't see it. Choice happens every day though people may pretend they didn't choose.

Every direction leads somewhere, every belief creates a world you choose. Everyone has their own horizon.

Some beliefs restrict (maintain the horizon, or narrow it), some set you free (let you expand the horizon as much or as little as you like). Interestingly, you can change your beliefs if you want to. You are free to stay the same or whatever you want. There are no rules about it. The only reason to change something is if you aren't completely happy with it. Then accept that somehow you chose to be in that situation - even if you say you did not - then choose to be in another situation. That's all.

So what defines your horizon today? What values do you hold that make your world the way it is? Think of some examples. "Always try your best". "Be grateful for what you've got". "The sky's the limit!". "Do your duty". "Think of others before yourself". "You'll never amount to anything". "You can be anything you want". All different beliefs. Maybe they mean nothing to you, maybe something. Somewhere in the world, you will find a person who holds one of these. If you do not hold it yourself, then you can see how that person has decided what his life will be like, directed by various things that happened to them that lead them to make that decision. But to that person, it is real and any other possibility might be ridiculous. Or it might not, possibly.

There is an interesting tool for identifying the values that motivate you. You can try it out, it could be interesting. Here are some tips for using it. Try very hard to keep the number of your selected values below 20 - it will save a lot of trouble later in the test. Pick words that really "speak to you", things you think are important or that jump off the page (screen) at you. It says pick the values that resonate most strongly with you, which isn't a kind of English that I understand very well, but I think that's what it means. Anyway you can try it out.

Your values determine what happens to you now. They set the limit of your horizon. They are your beliefs that create the world you live in, including all the things you like and all the things you don't like. Some people have unhappy lives, and they might want to change to a better one - this is aimed at them. Some people have happy lives and don't need to change much - they are still free to change anything they want, or if they meet someone who needs help then this knowledge might be useful. This is aimed at them too. Or even there are people who are going along just fine, thank you, who don't need to change anything. Well, they don't have to. It's not required! This is purely intended to make things easier for everybody. Yes, all of us!

Look at your values list. Does it suit you? Are you happy with it? Can you see how it got you where you are? What would you like to improve next? I think you have improved already, haven't you? Do you remember when that thing happened that you didn't like? You survived it, didn't you. Isn't that because you learned something? Well, you are welcome to keep going, because...there might be something nice you can do - just around the next corner!

Meanwhile, be nice to people and accept they may be different to you - depending on their own values.

Horizon, what do you want to show me today?

Future Perfect

I'm planning what to do with this website next. As you can see, there is a variety of material here now, some of it old and in need of work, all of it in need of unification and a good trim.

Everything is going according to plan; I have had a lot to work on but it is succeeding. I haven't mentioned anything about it before, because who wants to know about what might happen? Few people would be interested and even fewer would believe it. It seemed to me to be better just to get on with it and tell you later. This may explain a certain lack of information that the more discerning of you may have noticed around the place.

Today I went out for my walk but was tricked by the sun which now disappears much earlier than formerly (and only very recently), so it was a lot darker a lot sooner! I didn't get lost but I certainly had to walk further than I was expecting...

So the sun is getting further away...some may doubt that it shall return, most accept it as obvious. What would our ancestors have thought? And our descendants?

Anyway, the point about this time of year is that the light does appear to disappear, and during that time there is no particular guarantee that it will be back. It gets cold and dark and all the goodness of the earth hides itself away in dark places. But if everything goes according to plan, guided by the Cosmic Gardeners' responsible hands, the light will soon return and shine on new things peeping out of the earth.

It's the same with many things in life. My work is just one case of that.

Everything is always beginning and being made again, but from time to time we can step back and notice that - something really did happen! The year turns interminably but at each resting point we have the chance to take stock of what we have achieved - what harvest we have brought in. If you don't like the harvest, it's time to plan for the next one. What will you change?

We can't escape change, but one thing we can do is direct it. And that is exactly what I am attempting to do. I hope you will be interested to see the results!

Love from Philip

When there's a twinge...

Finger and hand muscles are basically very small so you have to be very careful with them. Using them is not the same as using your legs, for example. Or you could think that it is the same, but on a different scale. Running a mile might be enough for one day, but for your fingers running a mile might be a lot less than a mile simce they are rather small compared to leg muscles.

Today I felt a small pain in my right hand so I know I have to stop until it is not there any more. But it is frustrating because I want to play 20 hours! And it feels like if you stop practising then you will not improve. BUT. If you continue injuring yourself then you will get worse, not improve. That's why I'm always angry with people who say they are injured but they still have to practise. Then we know why they are injured. You have to look after yourself better than that.

Well this is an extremely temporary problem, fortunately, because I do stop when I receive the signal to stop. It's called pain and it says Hey, you are doing something wrong here, please rest now. But many of us feel the pain but do not listen to it.

Where are you feeling a pain, and what is it telling you?

Occasionally you have to keep going through pain, and sometimes it is not a true pain, just something new. But mostly we need to listen to this voice.

Your Important Advice

Look - you can say this too:


"I can do anything, and whatever I can't do, I can learn".


Don't you think it is true?

"Modern Music"

Yesterday I attended a lecture-recital on the piano music of Haydn given by Andras Schiff at the Wigmore Hall. He played quite a lot of the music (an early Capriccio in C major, F minor Fantasie, the last Sonata (E flat major)) and talked us through the harmonic movement, pointing out what harmonies were a surprise and in what way. It was very gentle and quite amusing for a typical Wigmore audience which is of course very music-loving and intelligent as well as, it has to be admitted, rather conservative.

I was disappointed by one of his comments, which was directed against "modern music". He was expounding the virtues of the wonderful way Haydn returns to the home key after all his excursions and surprise moves in the wrong direction, and said that's the thing that bothers him about contemporary music - that it never arrives home after it has begun. It wasn't a terrible comment, but I wasn't too impressed by it, and certainly not by the way he knew he could say that to this audience and be sure they would go along with him, and even find it amusing.

Do you think one day we will be able to have music in concert halls?

Yes, just music - sounds that mean things. Not "our music not yours" or "of course this music is some of the greatest ever composed (because it has existed for hundreds of years and hasn't hurt anybody since then)".

It's an interesting point that the very conservative repertoire often is some of the greatest music ever composed (it seems to me) but there are certainly plenty of gaps where other great music has been omitted, and where living composers do not have any comfortable place. Or at least the ones with the comfortable place are just lying around in comfort, not writing anything of any note.

England is unusual because it has a very conservative part which, while it inhibits change, succeeds in preserving (conserving) some things that, if we didn't have them, we would be much the poorer for that. So even though I don't like these remarks about "Listen to all the wrong notes! How silly it sounds" and so on, I don't actually mind too much. But one day they will appreciate that you can see in all directions out of the windows of your house, not only the directions you already know about.

There is great music now, and has been since the last officially great music was written (when was that, 1910 or 20? And even a lot of that is sometimes considered a bit modern, such as Ravel). I don't mind at all that we are taking it slow with the new repertoire choices. We could have a fast-moving all-changing society and it might not be long before we lose the good parts.

Yes, at the Wigmore hall you, like Volvic mineral water, must be filtered through volcanic sand for 15 years until you reach the required level of purity. Except it's more than 15 years.

But if we can stand the test of time, then we can wait a few years for the music-lovers.

Don't be scared, audience! It's just that we have some more things you can love.

Communications

Today I went to Loon Fung to get some rice, and while I was at the checkout the manager came over to ask something to the checkout lady. He could of course ask her anything he liked because (a) he is the manager and (b) she wasn't talking to me because I am foreign. It's a strange syndrome, the "invisible foreigner" syndrome. I have studied a lot about Asian culture and behaviour so I have a small idea what it's about, but without study of this kind one might feel it's a bit rude.

Why am I invisible in a Chinese shop? Well, I'm less invisible now I have more training, but it's probably mainly caused by what people would term shyness, I think. The person is shy of interacting with a foreigner for some reasons which include having to speak a foreign language which might be complicated. The whole thing is complex and I don't know all about it by any means. This particular behaviour doesn't seem to be a feature of non-Asian cultures, which is interesting.

But what is more interesting is that probably if I joined in nicely and asked a question or whatever it is, everything would be fine. I'm sure she speaks English - she works in a shop in England. But it takes two sides to make a nervous situation.

And of course if I spoke Chinese (I can't)! What would happen? I've heard of Westerners speaking perfect Chinese and some Chinese people not being able to understand them. I think there could be several reasons for that too.

Anyway that's just all about "I heard this" and "Maybe that" so we have to go on what i actually know, don't we?

What I really wanted to say was, while the manager was talking to the lady, I heard him say, "something something san something". And I thought maybe san is three, because I know it is in Japanese. And I looked up and he was holding three things!

It's not worthy of the Nobel Prize for services to the translation industry. It's not going to get the Polyglot Pulitzer. But I am always amazed that one can learn a word and it will give you a secret key to understanding what previously sounded like a load of nonsense!

Amazing. (To me).

Yes it's worth learning a few things. They can be words - which you then understand - or they can be cultural facts about people and their behaviour - which you can then understand a lot better.

We're all the same really. It's just that some people say san and some say three. It's the same number.

Bad News for Pianists!

If, as I have said before, endurance is not the most difficult thing to acquire in playing, what, then, is most difficult?

There are two greatest difficulties, tone and pedaling.

And the pedal is hardest of all to learn!

Vladimir Horowitz, 1932


Oh dear! It could be true - many many things are difficult in piano playing, but AFTER you have fixed them all, there is still a basic problem to solve!

Tone is a very fundamental thing. Some people don't believe in it. They think you can't change the sound of the piano. Well, that's like saying the conductor doesn't change the orchestra. Some people don't believe in that either.

And pedalling is something that affects the performance of a composition from the early years of study, yet it is something that is almost never given proper attention. It's really quite important. Exactly what goes on with the pedal beyond what we at the beginning called "a pedal change" is quite complex.

There are many technical issues in piano playing. No matter how many, the number is limited. So if you study it systematically, and fix your problems, then at some point you will ARRIVE AT THE END. Or actually, as we call it, the beginning.

Escape from Stalag Howard

The butterfly has escaped!

It has become quite strong (and a bit fat) by eating my fine cuisine de papillon and has started to search for...something!

It knows to go towards the light and has already got as far as the window!

It might still be a bit cold for releasing it to the outside, but it seems to be getting warmer. This butterfly mostly walks (with a bit of fluttering) but it has still got plenty of chance to succeed.

The carpet wasn't very tasty so I am feeding it again. But it has been out of its house for over 24 hours now!

You want to protect things from danger but you shouldn't protect them from development - even if it is more dangerous. Anyway, soon, soon it can go for its biggest adventure!

Still Going

You can see: the left wing is a bit damaged. Two-spot markings. Nice yellowy colour. Proboscis - curly bit at the mouth end with which butterflies drink nectar out of plants.

Our friend is still going well in the safety of its home-made butterfly house. It can't fly well so I try to keep it out of trouble for the moment. It sleeps at night and wakes up in the day. It likes warmth from about 25°C, but becomes immobile if the temperature drops below 20 or so. It can still move if necessary in a cold temperature - I know this because when I first found it inside the fridge it could flutter and display its defensive "eye" markings on its wings. Anything with big eyes like that - you'd better keep away! It worked on me the first time.

I'm feeding it on a solution of honey and sugar in water. It is fed this on a chopstick. Since today I have a bit of tissue on the end which can soak up the solution. It would be nice to give it something to drink out of (like a flower) so it can use its proboscis properly.

Ideally this butterfly will get better and start flying properly, then the weather will get warm so I can release it into a lovely garden somewhere near. I try to give it some quality of life but it is designed to live outside, even if it is more dangerous out there.

I will see how it is looking.

How to Cook Chicken

OK here's a cookery tip for you.

Chicken (if you eat it) is one of the most difficult things to cook because it easily gets into an upsettingly dry, tough, squeaky condition which nobody wants but many people don't know how to avoid.

Here is the secret.

OK assuming you have cut it into small pieces, and you are frying it in a frying pan, all you have to do is: leave it. Yes, you read me correctly. Do nothing!

The side of the chicken pieces that is in contact with the pan is the side that is cooking. Turning it over now will make it cook faster (two hot sides). If you have other ingredients to add, and often there are lots of things to add and not enough time, then you don't want the chicken to be cooked before you start the other bits. No you don't, because the chicken will be over-cooked then. So just leave it in its initial position. THEN, when everything is cooked right, and the plates are ready, etc, then and only then should you turn it over. This way, it will be ready when you want to eat it and not before.

Remember that hot food continues to cook while it's on the plate. So stop cooking the chicken just before it looks ready. This means, if you cut a piece or split one with the cooking implement, it should be, well, not exactly pink in the middle, but certainly not quite white yet ("cooked chicken colour"). Yes, stop BEFORE it is ready. Stop when it is NEARLY ready.

So when it is on the plate in front of your guest or customer (or you) it will be the right colour inside. Because it is hot, and is still cooking itself as you watch!

Does that make sense?

To summarise:
1. in the pan, leave the top side of the chicken raw until you are ready to go.
2. turn it over to complete the cooking but stop just before it is cooked all the way through.

Now please tell me it worked.

The Great Interpreters

People think they have to discover something about themselves that they then put into the music they play. They think they have to have something to say, or some special way of saying it.

Maybe they think that because they see "the great interpreters" playing and see that it's very distinctive. There is some unique character there that you would recognise immediately no matter what they were playing.

Now, a good player has learned how to play well - they were not always able to play as well as that, they had to learn - but the basic character you hear was always in them from the beginning.

So what does somebody do who thinks they are not one of the great interpreters? How can they improve?

As I said, one way people try to do it is by "putting themselves into the music". But is that really what Glenn Gould or Sviatoslav Richter were doing? It's obviously them playing, you know immediately with no doubt. And the uniqueness comes from them. But the reason for it is that that's the way the music flows through their system. It's not something they add, it's a live connection to the music direct. On a bad day, they would tell you they were not connected, but on a good day the difference is that there is less of "them" and more of the music.

So the answer is not to add more of yourself. That is adding more ego. What is important, you or what you are playing? What is more important, telling the audience something you already know or discovering something new? Showing your heart or just pretending?

If you don't feel you are great, don't worry because the great people weren't great either. They thought they were rubbish. I'm telling you.

If you think you are good, you are wrong. If you think you are bad, you are wrong too. The only answer is to keep looking. Even if it's going well, there is still more to find. And if it is going badly, that's an excellent sign because you know you have got somewhere to go.

How to get better? How to get great?

Don't try to add things. Take things away. The more you put in, the less of the composer we are hearing.

Can you control your beating heart and the allocation of hormones and adrenalin and blood and electric communications in your body? I don't think so. So don't interfere.

The little "I" is not much help. All it can do is be selfish, which gets it a few advantages but only in the short term. The big "I" is a genius and you find it by being interested in what is not you.

For example the music. You have the score - read it! Enjoy it! The composer had a special reason for writing it and that reason still exists but we have to discover it. He saw something special and important. Now you have to show people where to look to find it themselves. Point in the direction. Or even carry them there. It's all in the music. READ IT!

And you know if you get it right or wrong, and you know if you don't know enough, and you know what you have to practise. You are the one who learns to get better, nobody can tell you how to be good. But people will help you. Everybody knows something nobody else knows - that's why there's more than one person in the world. That's why we need you!

Don't try so hard, try LESS HARD! But try your best! Your improvement will depend on how hard you look for the answers. Plus, bear in mind that you already know all the answers....if you look....

Appearances

I was just remembering something.

When I was at the R.A.M., we used to have to go to early evening student concerts once a week. Attendance was compulsory, and we had to sign in so someone could decide whether we'd get a good mark or not.

I used to go to the concerts but I thought it was so stupid to make them compulsory that I fairly often didn't sign in. While many people tried to sneakily sign the names of their friends who were too busy sleeping to attend the concert, I was coming to listen but doing the opposite.

I just thought it was more important to hear the concert than to get a mark for hearing the concert. Maybe I am a bit silly.

I graduated, though. I must have got a good mark for something....!

Chain of Command

Godowsky was a genius. A self-taught genius - the only kind there is, of course.

He learned how to do anything at all on the piano, and invented some new things too. If you want to have a lesson with Godowsky, try playing any of his music. It has lots of fingerings and helpful comments written in, so it's very instructive as playing music by a great pianist always is. Of particular note are his Studies on the Etudes of Chopin, which, since they are more difficult than Chopin's originals, raise the standard of piano playing in a rather helpful way.

Heinrich Neuhaus was Godowsky's student. There was a great teacher for you. And he was a great player too, though he spent most of his time teaching. You can learn a lot from his book The Art of Piano Playing. What he says seems obvious though, so you have to keep coming back to the book over many years to appreciate its value.

Then Neuhaus had a student called Sviatoslav Richter. He was good too!

Each of these people had their own talent, but it was helped by meeting one of the others. Destiny somehow allows people to look after each other.

Godowsky set off one day to find out how to play the piano, and look what happened!

Richter wasn't really a teacher but look what he did for us. If you can't learn from any of that, there's a problem somewhere!

Thanks very much to those three men, then. Thank you!

Fear

The things you fear are like shadows in the half of the room that you don't want to see. Your half is not in shadow, because you have chosen to look at it. But what's in the other half?

There is a monster under the bed, and one in the wardrobe too. Dark things come out at night and we clothe them in our own fear.

But in the daylight we can see what is there.

The things we fear are everywhere because we don't want to look at them. So when there is darkness - under the bed, in the wardrobe, or somewhere else we are not sure about - our fears appear. Whenever you sense some unknown thing coming towards you (in space or in time), you shape it into the thing you are afraid of.

The only question is, what is really there?

I think the answer has to be, there is something there. Or, there appears to be something there. What though? It's our choice whether we look closely or not.

Let's think of a situation. General fears around this area (where I am now) are: being robbed, being attacked somehow, losing things, or fear of a general disaster (of whatever type is popular in the media at the moment). Let's take fear of non-specific attack or robbery. OK, so you are afraid of that happening. When it is dark you are more afraid. That may be reasonable because there are fewer people around in the dark. However, that's rather the product of the fear of the dark that we talked about before. If it's dark then you put something there. If you can't see what is there, you imagine what could be there.

As uncertainty increases, this hypothetical person we are talking about gets more afraid. He creates more threats as his knowledge decreases. We can see that fear of attack gets worse when we have less information: if it's dark; if the place is unfamiliar; if we are alone.

However! We can do better than that!

Let's forget about the BlockbusterAttackMode way out. This approach says that the more prepared I am for attack, the less I will be affected by it. Look at these people, they learn a million-and-one-ways of defending themselves, nine-and-a-half exotic martial arts, carry six guns, a knife, and a flamethrower. And that's just for looking out of the window! Are they less afraid? No, and I think they are becoming a bit of a threat themselves actually. Yes, they did get more prepared, that's sort of taking a step, but they did not solve the problem.

The only problem was the original fear, fear created by the darkness we mentioned at the beginning. Then we were talking about a real darkness (the one under the bed, for example), but it's really the same thing if it is physical or a kind of mental darkness which comes from the unknown.

So given that we are afraid of something, we can see the following. First, we are creating more threats wherever we are unsure about something. We talked of a fear of attack but it can really be anything. There are plenty of uncertainties so there are plenty of fears to choose from!

Have you noticed that now? Whenever there is uncertainty, you turn it into a threat. Yes, I agree, the accident could happen now, your job could disappear this week, that heart attack you've been expecting could have happened five minutes ago. But does it make sense to be on panic alert all the time? OK, statistically there is probably a chance of these things happening. Probably each of them happened to somebody in the world yesterday. But you are not a supercomputer. The human mind is very powerful (or capable of being) but you are not helping matters by using that power to imagine how badly things could go wrong. Getting a scratch that goes septic and you die - chances are 2,987,453 to one. A chance. Yes, every second. Even twice a second! All the same...I don't want to upset your reasoning process, but it may not be your day for misfortune. Sorry, it must just be bad luck, I guess.

First of all, you are seeing your fears when you cannot see clearly. You can solve that by: recognising what you are afraid of, and trying to be objective (learning to see other sides of a situation, not just the one you are used to seeing). Low Grade Panic Alert is rather a vague state so it helps to identify what the perceived threat is. What are you afraid of? Write it down. Ok I think it is slightly less frightening already. Slightly is a good start. Then by learning to "see through other eyes" you can see where you went wrong before. Illusion is the product of isolation. "I'm afraid of..." is already wrong because it starts with "I". You think you are separate and you have your own problems. But you must be connected to someone else in some way. You have seen another person before, right? Right, so you are not really alone. Then who is this "I"? It is the fearing part. The part that does not fear is called "We" or "Us". Learn about it.

Finding ways to attack a problem will never solve it. Because you are afraid of attack, you are always attacking. Don't fight, invite! Your hostility makes hostility outside you. If you welcome the world and its chances of...failure or...success, then you are shining a bit of light on your fear and you will have more chance of seeing what is really there.

What is really there? A few naughty people doing naughty things. But not all the time. They want things the easy way and can't be bothered to put much effort in. And accidents do happen, but not to everbody and not every day, and when they do we have to stop and think how we got into that situation and maybe learn how to avoid it next time. Health problems do occur but not every minute. A system under stress has to release the stress somehow, and the results can seem unpleasant. But symptoms that come out are the product of something called health. If you are worried about your health then you must know why you are worried. Is it something you are doing wrong? If it is then you can change it. Your body is the only one you have and looking after it will help you a lot. Your life is your life and can change this world for the better. Our world is our world, too, though we are supposed to look after it rather than drain it of goodness. These are all good things. The bad things exist but they are not everywhere. They may not even be bad! They are probably just "things" until you decide they are going to be bad.

We should be afraid. There is a lot to be afraid of. But it is not meant to freeze us in our steps before we have started the race. We are not meant to stop climbing before the first peak has come into view. Fear is allied with caution, respect, care, and guides experiment. Each of those ensures the harvest comes in safe next year. They may mean the ship gets into port safe and sound. The eggs all get back from market in one piece. But where do the plans come from? What makes experiment? Total caution would have zero result. Now I have a message for you. You are not the victim of a dice game, neither coldly and without intent, nor maliciously twisting the threads of your fate. You are not the victim. You have the power to imagine danger for a very good reason - because of the power to imagine. Why do you have that power? To stop? To shut the shop and sink the ship, to shatter and fail and founder and grind to a halt? Or to see in your mind's eye what lies behind the hill, what lives on the other side of the world, what breathes where there is no air and swims without water?

What crawls in the morning, stands upright at noon, and crawls again at evening? The answer is man, from baby to adult to old age, but we should rather ask: What asks riddles? Who invents the impossible? The answer is the mind of man but what that really means is something we are still learning. Don't expect to read about it in the newspaper. With these things, it's better to try and find out for yourself. Believe me.

Now you are brave again!

You only got to be brave by admitting that fear exists. Well done. Now do more!

Teachers

There are many teachers. One could look for a long time without finding the right one. In a state like this someone could go from teacher to teacher, changing for a variety of reasons.

Every teacher has something to give a student. But some have only a little. Even by virtue of the fact that the teacher is older or more experienced than the student, they may know something useful at least.

Going from teacher to teacher will produce, at the very least, a succession of these lesser relationships, and will at least ensure some progress in learning. I never heard of anyone getting worse! Though for certain some people do not get much better!

However, the right teacher is always available. But sometimes the path that should lead to them is very busy with distractions.

A good teacher knows you and knows what your weaknesses are. Though they may not show it because not all teachers give everything away for free in the first lesson. Sometimes they feel their wisdom is valuable and you have to study for a while before it starts to come through. But how much you learn is not up to the teacher, it is up to you. If the teacher is limited, then what you learn is certainly limited by that. But a true master is not limited.

A teacher is often old. Because wisdom comes with age. Even doing very little for a long time can produce wisdom! Definitely, though, someone who has looked hard for wisdom could well have found a little more of it as more years have passed by.

But your teacher could be any age. There is nothing to say they can't be younger than you! It's the soul that guarantees the result, not the age of the body.

Many people find a good teacher. They might perhaps go to a college to study with someone they admire, and they improve and enjoy it. They look back and say how important it was for them. That's positive! Yet others have not flowered in any significant way, so they feel like they never arrived anywhere...and they don't know where they were going!

The journey of learning is complicated, but only if it has become complicated. Remember how well you learned in the first years of your life. That learning continues all through life, but life takes a long time and it is easy to lose track of what you were doing. The plan of finding your talents and developing them to help everyone goes on, even if it only goes on a little way. I wonder, though, how far it could go?

How much you learn is up to you. The student is the one who listens or chooses not to listen. The teacher is prepared to give everything...to the right person. But the student has to be open to the guidance. The trouble is that many people do not listen and do not realise they have got things wrong. They, of course, do not know they need to be guided.

Yet most people are looking to improve, and they listen to help from outside. I think this is wise.

Finding the right teacher is possible. Then learning from them is possible too. But a guide is only guiding you. They are telling you to hold the map the right way up. That should help!

They are guiding.

But you are the one who has to arrive.

But the right teacher would love to help you as much as you will let them. You may have to ask though. Sometimes.

Where I have been, and what I did while I was there

Well, have you spotted that I haven't been writing this month? Me too. I don't like to leave you alone in the bleak internet without my protection but there is a reason for my absence. I have been being an accompanist! The reasons for this are: it's near my house, I get money, I get the benefit of other people's lessons and masterclasses, also it gives me something to think about.

The other reason for my absence is to do with piano practice, and is something I'm not revealing at the moment....

Interesting people I have met and been in lessons with include Pascal Némirovski (piano), Thomas Brandis (violin), and Tomotada Soh (violin, formerly Szigeti's assistant). I heard a few interesting things there. Also I find it's good just to be in the room with a master of some instrument or subject - I learn even without learning! I can't promise it's the same for everyone though (unfortunately!)

So what have I played? Have a look at the list:


Bruch Concerto for Violin and Viola (or Violin and Clarinet)
Stravinsky Violin Concerto (1st movement)
Mozart Violin Concerto No. 5 (1st mvt)
Brahms Violin Sonata No. 3 in D minor (complete)
Takemitsu Hika (vln)
Wieniawski Variations on an Original Theme (vln)
Messiaen Theme and Variations (vln)
Prokofiev Violin Concerto No. 2 (1st mvt)
Grieg Violin Sonata No. 1 (1st mvt)
Szymanowski Violin Concerto No. 2 (1st mvt)
Szymanowski Violin Sonata in D minor (complete)
Weber Romance (trombone, presumably an arrangement for this instrument from maybe a cello piece or something)
Reinecke Ballade (flute)
Godard Valse Op. 116 No. 3 (flute)
Gaubert Sonatine (flute; complete)
Creston Sonata (alto sax)
Grovlez Sarabande and Allegro (alto sax)
Shostakovitch Violin Concerto No. 1 (1st mvt) - twice!
Lutosławski Recitative and Arioso (vln)
Berlioz Harold en Italie (1st mvt; viola)
Poulenc Flute Sonata (1st and 2nd mvts)
Strauss Violin Sonata (1st mvt)
Mendelssohn Violin Concerto (1st mvt)
Bloch Trombone Symphony (complete)
Schumann Stück im Volkston Op. 102 No. 5 (I think; trombone, arranged from cello piece)
Bozza Ballade for Trombone and Piano
Bozza Hommage à Bach (trombone) - twice
Pryor Variations on Flower of Scotland (trombone)
Šulek Sonata "Vox Gabrieli" (1st mvt; trombone)
Rossini "Una Voce poco Fa" (from Il Barbiere di Siviglia; soprano)
Debussy Romance (soprano)
Menotti "Ah Michele don't you know" from The Saint of Bleecker Street (sop)
Mahler Hans und Grethe (sop)
David (Ferdinand not Félicien) Trombone Concertino (complete; sight-reading in the exam!)

That's it, finish!

I'm not sure, but it seems like a lot. What do you think?

Another reason I have been doing a lot of this is that other pianists agree to play things and then change their mind the day before the performance. However I do not change my mind.

When I was 14 I used to have a job accompanying for singers (3 nights a week at its maximum) at the local music academy, also where I had my piano lessons with Alex Abercrombie. He was a pupil of Yvonne Loriod and introduced me to the music of Finnissy (the two of them had been at college together). Also it was rather good to have an Alkan enthusiast in the local area!

You know, there is a difference between playing a piece without learning it (sight-reading) and playing it with all the details checked. Yes, you are saying, a big difference! But I can normally play something without knowing it - most music is similar after all. For example the key of C minor appears many times throughout pieces I know; certain topics like "Funeral March" have fellow pieces of the same type that I can remember and so I already have an idea of what it's going to be like. More could probably be said about "How to Sight Read"!

But when I'm doing that it's not the same as having a relaxed control over the material such as I have in a piece I'm familiar with. So that was the main, well, not really problem, with doing the accompanying, but it was at least something not-quite-positive that could be said about it. I hope to be able to know more music better.

But it's nice to meet all those pieces. It's worth practising sight-reading so you can do it too! It will help all those people with music exams and help you learn more pieces yourself!

As Charles Rosen says in "Piano Notes":

In about six months of sight-reading for three hours a day, one could go through most of the keyboard music of Bach, Handel, Mozart, Chopin, Schumann, Mendelssohn, and Brahms. Another few months and one can add Haydn, Debussy, and Ravel. Another hour and a quarter would suffice for all of Schoenberg's piano music (or two hours if you have trouble reading it at first), and an hour and a half will get you through Stravinsky, including the works for piano and orchestra, and ten minutes each for the solo piano works of Anton von Webern and Alban Berg.

So now you see what can be done. Of course, you don't have to do all that, but if you are going to have a job playing the piano in some form, it would be worth it. Also if you enjoy the piano I would imagine it would be interesting.

Having sight-read all those works, then you could decide what was good for you to learn. Otherwise it's back to the Chopin Four Ballades - AGAIN!

If you play the Four Ballades, I want to feel they are "Your Ballades" (pardon), otherwise it gets a bit upsetting for me. Crash crash crash there they go again. Oh and look I'm being sensitive here (where I can't play in tempo)!

And then there are other composers not on the Rosen-List, above. What are they like?

OK, that's all for today, see you soon!

Takk and tak

As part of my travel plans for the future, I'm back to learning Polish. There is this word, 'tak', which means 'yes'. So far so good, that's all quite clear (in some pronunciation you can even hear a bit of a 'd' sound at the start, so you can think of 'da' in Russian and know for sure that this word means yes). But in Norwegian (which we discussed at length, starting on 25th June) the word takk means thanks. I get just a little bit confused as I try to decide whether I'm saying yes or thanks. Solutions: get focused into speaking Polish and not have any other options for the 'tak' sound in my mind; or, concentrate on the different sounds between the two words - which are very different, if you get close enough to see all the differences - and associate different pictures and feelings with each one which will always be there when I use the words.

It may seem a small thing to be talking about. But once you know bits of a few languages, some of the bits can fall into some of the other languages, so I'd like to know what you do about that.

One great linguist (polyglot, or by definition, hyperpolyglot - speaking more than six languages fluently) - the first that I think of - is Richard Francis Burton, the great English ...well, there isn't a word for what he was, he was everything - and everything England was not, so we can be thankful for having him (1821-1890). He was one of the first Westerners into Mecca - he went in disguise, linguistically as well as everything else (you can read about this in Personal Narrative of a Pilgrimage to Al-Madinah and Mecca). He translated the Arabian Nights (the Alf Laylah Wa Laylah, or "Thousand Nights and One Night") and the Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana - among others. Burton, who was supposed to know 29 languages, was an incredible man who went everywhere and did everything - fantastical, unlikely, impossible, but he did it. He even discovered the source of the Nile. Read something by him or about him. Then have a think about what you have to do to qualify as 'being alive'. Lord Derby said of RFB: "Before middle age, he compressed into his life more of study, more of hardship, and more of successful enterprise and adventure, than would have sufficed to fill up the existence of half a dozen ordinary men".